A Mother’s 2nd Greatest Fear

Our community has been devastated this week by the tragic death of a 30-year old woman who was killed in a motor vehicle accident. She was also 30 weeks pregnant with their 3rd child, a boy, and she had 2 young girls, ages 6 and 23 months old. I should tell you that I didn’t personally know this wonderful young woman, but I know several people who did know her. I also spent about 6 hours yesterday reading her blog, detailing her life as a wife and mother. By all accounts, she was remarkable, and she lived her life for the Lord and for her family.

I have always thought that a mother’s greatest fear is the death of her child. But the SECOND greatest fear is that SHE would die, leaving behind young children. So when something like this happens, I think it is just human nature (well, OK, MOM-nature) to think, “Oh, my gosh, what if this happened to ME?” As a Christian, I know that the answer is supposed to be that the Lord will see my kids through. And on some level, I know this to be true. But there is this little part of my Mom-Heart that breaks into a million tiny pieces if I let myself think about this. When Elizabeth Edwards died earlier this month, leaving behind two young children, my thoughts went down this road somewhat. But this lady lived here, in Amarillo. She was a friend of my friends. She worked with other people I know. She is so much more real to me. I’ve read stories about her life and her struggles and her children, and for the life of me, I don’t know WHY, other than out of honor and respect for a fellow mother.

Then after spending all those hours mourning this young mother, fighting tears all day, on the way home from work, just a minute from home, some jerk ran a red light and almost hit me. (AND had the audacity to honk at ME!!) Thankfully, my God was watching out for me (and my children) and I was able to stop my car, but I could not stop the TEARS. When I got home, I fell to my knees and hugged my Baby Girl, who just looked at me with confused eyes, as I asked her if she understood that Mommy loved her. Then I sobbed in my husband’s arms until his shirt was soaked, crying not so much for this sweet mother who is now with Jesus, but for these three kids, two of which will not even remember her, and for this young dad who will have to face raising his family without his beloved wife.

For we ALL have to know that it call all be gone in a flash, in an instant, in a blink of an eye.

So I am going to try to do a better job of showing my kids that I love them, that I support them, that I am there for them. I’m going to take time to read the book or watch that episode of “Glee” even when I’m tired or when I don’t feel well. Because the truth is that tomorrow is NOT promised, and I don’t know when the Lord will call me home. So I need to make these memories while I can so that they can last my children a lifetime. . .




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Where do YOU hide?

Anne Frank hid in an attic to escape from the Nazis. Mr. Beaver went underground to hide from the White Witch in “The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.” Jonah went to sea to hide from the Lord. I, personally, hide in my bedroom, lying in my bed.






Now I know you’re thinking that this is not a very good place to hide, and you are probably right. Anyone walking in can CLEARLY see me. After all, I’m not a small woman. And lots of people tend to come and go while I’m hiding, mainly Barre’, Bethany and McKenna. And then there’s Bella, my faithful companion, licking my face, demanding I rub her tummy. I might be reading a magazine or watching TV or snuggled up with McKenna. But all the while, I’m STILL hiding.






And what a BEAUTIFUL place to hide! In our new home, the master bedroom is just GORGEOUS! It’s huge and has this great tray ceiling and wonderful light/fan. The colors are soft and soothing. The sheets are worn down to an amazing softness. AAHH!!!!






But I am coming to realize that I have a life-long habit of “retreating” to my room. Looking back, I can see that I’ve done it my entire life. When I’m over-tired, I go to my room. When I’m mad and I REALLY don’t want to talk about it, I go to my room. When you’ve hurt me, and I need to lick my wounds, I go to my room. And I really don’t know why. I’m still waiting for the Lord to help me out with understanding this.






I DO know, though, that it has become a habit. And it’s one I guess I need to break. Sleep experts say you should only sleep or have sex in your bed. Really? What about Facebooking on my laptop? What about marathon episodes of “Criminal Minds?” What about “I just really, really, really want to be left alone”?






Hmmm. . . . BUT. . . I DO have a gorgeous living room, too, with nice, comfy furniture and a pretty fireplace. Maybe I can just start by moving out there. . . just for a start. . . while God works this out. . .






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Choose Grace

I have decided to make this my daily motto. In fact, I even designed a little thing today that I am going to get printed and framed, to put in our new home that simply says “Choose Grace.”


So I have been thinking about this today, wondering about grace. It has so many different meanings in our society today. We say “grace” over our food before we eat. We say we are saved by God’s “grace.” When my beloved clumsy child trips over a crack in the side walk, we say, “Way to go Grace.” 


But today I’m thinking of grace as a verb. But not the grace that comes from God but the grace I’m supposed to GIVE. If you follow my blog, you know I’ve talked about grace before. God’s Word mentions some form of grace 127 times. So HE must think it’s important, too. 


A common worldly definition is: An instance of kindness, courtesy, or clemency (an act of leniency).


Ahhh. There’s the rub, as one of my favorite literary characters like to say! (That’s Father Tim from the Mitford series, by the way!) That’s the kind we don’t like to give, do we? Clemency, leniency. We like to point out other people’s short comings or faults, the times when they mess up or let us down. Or maybe it’s selective? We give it to our children when they are cute and cuddly or to the harried waitress in the restaurant when we’re feeling generous. But what about the premenstrual teenager? Or the child who can ask 200 questions in one hour? Or the husband who is on your last nerve? 



I have decided that because I WANT grace from all of these people, in all circumstances, really, I’m going to work on GIVING it to them, in all circumstances, really.

HIS mercies are new every day, so I’ll work on making my grace new every day.


And because we have just moved into a new “house” and we are working on making a fresh start, I’ll hang my little “Choose Grace” sign for all to see, and hopefully, I’ll live an example for all in my HOME to see, and maybe, just maybe, others will choose grace too.

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Roller Coasters

I really do. I have my entire life. My favorite ones do this:

But THESE:

THESE are the ones that GET me. They give me that butterfly feeling in my chest, they make me feel woozy, they are the hardest ones for me by far. It’s that UP and DOWN part that gets me.


And when I look at the picture, with the constant up and down, the highs and the lows, I see my LIFE. I see my feelings and emotions, my HEART, my successes and my struggles, my victories and my challenges. And I feel like my entire life has been like this: one LONG roller coaster ride.


But my God told me it would be this way.


John 16:33 In this world you will have trouble.


2 Corinthians 4:8-9 We are hard pressed on every side . . . perplexed. . . persecuted. . . struck down. . .


2 Timothy 3:12 In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted. . .


1 Peter 4:12 Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering


I am sometimes surprised when people are surprised when life IS hard. Of course it is. Why would we expect anything else? We live in a fallen world, controlled by the evil one, filled with flawed, sinful people. We look to others to fill something within us that only our God can fill. We have disappointments and failures and trails.


So what do we DO then, when life hurts? THAT is the question. THAT is the true test of who you are.


As for me and MY house, we will serve the LORD!!! I will choose to believe that I am a beloved child of the King and that my name is written in the Lamb’s Book of Life! I will believe that I am the head and not the tail! I will believe that I am saved by the Blood of Jesus, forever sealed by the Holy Spirit of God to be with Him for eternity! And I will dwell on these things that are pure and lovely and admirable! And when life knocks me down, I’ll just get up again. . . . and again. . . and again.

And will try, oh so VERY hard, to do it with some grace and some dignity and some mercy and some love.


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Oh, boy. . . . . .worry . . . .

Last night at Bible study, the topic of worry came up. I think worry is always an uncomfortable thing for Christians to talk about. We kind of know it’s a sin and we aren’t supposed to do it, but really, almost everyone does, on some level. Our “personal instruction manual” tells us on several occasions that we aren’t supposed to worry.



Matthew 6:27-29 (New Living Translation) Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are.


Proverbs 12:25 Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up.


Philippians 4:6-7 Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.


Matthew 6:25 That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing?


1 Peter 5:7 Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.


Ecclesiastes 11:10 So refuse to worry, and keep your body healthy.


But HOW, really, can we DO that? I think that above all else, we have to ask God to help us. We are just mere mortals, struggling along in our sinful flesh (thanks Adam and Eve for ruining it for everyone), trying to do the best we can. Most of the good we do in life can only be done with GOD and the HOLY SPIRIT living in us.


• ASK God to help, however many times a day it takes.


• Listen to praise and worship music.


• Read/memorize Scriptures on worry.


• Pray, committing all of your worries to God.


• Write down your worries. (I think this is especially important for people who have difficulty sleeping at night. Clear your mind BEFORE you try to go to sleep.) I am a “list” person, but even if you aren’t, you would likely be helped to SEE the things down on paper that are bothering you.


• Discuss your worries with your spouse or a friend. We are not called to go through life alone. Just make sure your friend is one who understands life from a biblical perspective.


• Remind yourself that God is in control. Knowing that our loving, gracious Father controls all things will help you rest and bring peace to your heart.


• If there is something reasonable you can do to fix a problem, do it. If you’re worrying about getting your house cleaned for your Mom’s visit, get up and clean something.


• Develop an attitude of praise. It's almost impossible for praise and worry to happen simultaneously




Medical research has proven that worry can be physically harmful. It can affect our nervous systems and make us less resistant to disease. Experts have stated that excessive worry can shorten the human life. It is ironic that we worry about our lives, but in doing so, we actually can shorten them.

The only way to stop worry dead in its tracks is to attack it with Scripture.

John 14:27 I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.


Deuteronomy 31:8 Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.”


Romans 8:28 And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.


2 Timothy 1:7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.


I would encourage YOU to look through your own Bible or do your own internet search on worry and see what God has to say to YOU. Jesus talked about worry several different times in the Sermon on the Mount, so really, I think He means it.


God told me once, “Worry is from the devil.” I honestly didn’t realize that. I thought it was just “part of life” and that everyone did it. I have since discovered, with His Divine Intervention, that it IS possible to live a life free from the everyday worries over things that really can’t be controlled anyway.


So lay it all at His feet. He’s MORE than able to handle it.

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Forgiveness

I find myself today in a place where I need to forgive some things. One is fairly small, and really, I should not have been holding on to it. The other is quite large, and I am coming to realize that it has impacted a LOT of different areas of my life. So I thought I would take a look at forgiveness.



That wonderful source of great knowledge (insert sarcasm font here), Wikipedia, says:


Forgiveness is typically defined as the process of concluding resentment, indignation or anger as a result of a perceived offense, difference or mistake, and/or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution.


Even WebMD chimes in on forgiveness:


Letting go of grudges and bitterness makes way for compassion, kindness and peace. Forgiveness can lead to:


 Healthier relationships


 Greater spiritual and psychological well-being


 Less stress and hostility


 Lower blood pressure


 Fewer symptoms of depression, anxiety and chronic pain


 Lower risk of alcohol and substance abuse


Whatever. . . .


We all know where we should look to learn about forgiveness: The Holy Bible, the written Word of God. In the NIV version, some form of the word “forgive” is used 116 times. That seems like a lot to me, so I would guess it’s important to Him. And isn’t our entire FAITH based on forgiveness? Don’t we ACCEPT that FROM Him when we come to Christ? Because we are so sinful, only He can cleanse us and make us worthy of sharing in His riches. And this is something that is FREELY GIVEN, by the Lord of the universe, ours for the taking, if we only accept it? And since HE gives this so freely, SHOULDN’T WE?


AH, there it is. . . there’s the rub. How can we TAKE something so precious, so easily and so often, and then not give it BACK to others just as easily?


Sometimes we think it’s complicated. People hurt people. That’s just part of who we are. We live in a fallen world, filled with sinful people, ruled by the dark one. And it’s easy for us to feel this “justified anger” at the people who have wronged us. And for some people, that “wrong” is WAY wrong. I’m thinking of things like sexual abuse of children, physical abuse, murder. The “big” ones. But other times, we are hurt by people in other ways that are quite hurtful and it’s hard to let that go.

But I don’t think the Bible asks us to forgive “just the small stuff.” That would be easy. I can forgive the guy who cut me off in traffic because maybe he was in a hurry to pick up his kid from school. Yeah, OK. I can do that. And I can forgive my husband who sometimes hurts my feelings with something he says when I know that he really didn’t mean it the way I took it.


But what about the hurts that run deep? The ones that maybe come from your childhood? From someone you love so very much and you just really, really want them to love you back? I would guess we all have something like this in our past. And I am trying very hard to deal with mine right now. And it hurts. A lot. Rejection always does, doesn’t it?


But I have decided that I can’t keep letting this hurt from the past color my NOW. And I surely don’t want to let it damage my FUTURE.


So I am working on forgiveness. Not because he has asked for it. Not because he even wants it. And honestly, not even because I really want to GIVE it.


But because He asked me to. And because He has forgiven me. And it would be selfish for me to keep it all to myself. . . .

So I am laying it ALL at the foot of HIS cross, asking Him to help me. . . to forgive, just as He has forgiven me, totally and completely and without strings attached, once and for all. I can’t do this on my own, Lord. You have to help me do it. Please, Lord, help me do it. . .

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I LOVE the story of how the Lord calls to Samuel in 1st Samuel chapter 3. It’s one of those Bible stories that always brings a smile to my lips. I think that I am often like Samuel, needing the Lord to call out to me multiple times before I know it is Him. But what brings this story to mind today is that I OFTEN start my quiet time with the words, “Speak, LORD, for your servant is listening.” And today is no different.



I read an article today about mothers and that paragon of virtue, the Proverbs 31 woman. For those of you who are not familiar, here is part the text:

Her children arise and call her blessed;


her husband also, and he praises her:


"Many women do noble things,


but you surpass them all."


Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;


but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised (Proverbs 31:28-30).


King Lemuel is speaking of a “wife of noble character.” But this particular article (I could not find the author of this piece) talked about the theory that people begin to see themselves the way other significant people in their lives see them and ultimately, they reflect the expectations of those closest to them. The noble woman's husband praised her. He took notice of her good deeds and built her up. Her children went out of their way to thank her and bless her for all that she had done. Could it be that their affirmations energized her to do those good deeds in the first place?

So what happens, then, if a wife/mother DOESN’T hear the words of affirmation, if she ISN’T praised for her good deeds, if she ISN’T thanked by her children. Hmmmm. . . . .

Ultimately, I know that the responsibility to bring good, to work vigorously, to open her arms to the poor, to speak with wisdom, and to fear the LORD falls on each of us as women, as wives and mothers. But I wonder how much of our success or failure stems from the praise (or lack thereof) from those around us.


Thoughts to ponder. . . .














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McKenna is 7!!!!!!!

On this day, seven years ago, the heavens opened up, and the Lord rained down this seemingly tiny blessing into my life.

At 6 pounds, 2 ounces, and just 17 ½ inches long, it was a little bitty blessing, to the naked eye, but oh, the Lord was smiling on me that day!



I sometimes find it hard to put into words what McKenna Loree’ means to me. When you look at her, obviously, you see this GORGEOUS child.

If you take a minute, you notice this sparkle in her eye.

And if you spend more than just a couple of minutes with her, you’ll notice quite a bit of SASS, too!

You see, I think that the Lord knew that she was going to have a little bit of a rough road in life; so He made her beautiful and He gave her SPUNK!


I believe that, like all children, she is beloved to Him. But I also think that, maybe, just maybe, our God has something special in mind for our Miss McKenna.

I am often fascinated by watching McKenna grow up. She is a wonderful mixture of the best of Barre’ and me. She has her Daddy’s practical manner, his inquisitive nature, his fondness for exercise, and his love of spicy food.

From me she gets her sweet heart, her love of animals, her quirky sense of humor, and her love of sunflower seeds!

She can sit and watch two hours of “Cities of the Underworld” on the History Channel or two hours of “House Hunters” on HGTV.


And then you can throw into the mix the fact that her sister Bethany has helped raise her.

 

McKenna has always spent time with older kids. From Bethany she has learned to quote monologs from “Dot,” how to play “Rock Band,” all the words to a million songs, and the importance of knowing how to time a joke.

She loves her brother Dax and her sister Yani so very much.

McKenna comes from a long line of family that loves their Nanny and Papa.  And she is no different. 

In the end, we are left with a 30 year old seven year old!! She is an amazing mixture of sweetness and maturity, vulnerability and toughness.

She is my sweet Angel Baby,


And man, oh man, I love her. . .



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Here’s what I have to say about BLOGS. . .

I currently have 19 blogs that I follow. I really don’t know if that’s a lot or a little. Four of these are what I call “professional” blogs like Beth Moore or “My Husband is Annoying®.” Then there are 5 that belong to people that I don’t even know. For an example, I follow this amazingly cute little pug name Ronin who, by the way, just had a birthday. I follow a couple of little people blogs, just to “get inside the head” of other LP moms. Then there are the remaining 10 that are people that I know. Some of them write amazingly insightful things that they hear from the Lord; others just ramble on about what is going on in their lives.



When I started MY blog back in March, I decided that I would not do the “Well, today I went to the MALL” kind of posts. I decided that I would write about things that the Lord lay on my heart; things that I felt were meaningful. I have done around 20 posts so far, ranging from the extremely serious one on domestic violence to ones that deal with my walk with my Lord to tributes to people in my family that I love. I don’t have a set day of the week I post. I just do it when I feel like God has something to say through me.


And one of the things that I said I wouldn’t do when I started this was be an ABSENT BLOGGER. Oh, you know what I mean. Of those 19 people I mentioned, only 8 of them have posted in the last month. Two of them haven’t even posted in the last SIX months. One hasn’t even posted in over a YEAR.


But guess what? Life DOES happen. Marriage gets hard, kids go into crisis, health issues arise, work overwhelms, money troubles threaten to envelop you. And you kind of go into this “survival” mode, where you just prioritize, and you ONLY do the things in life that ABSOLUTLEY HAVE to get done.


This is where I have been. Where I AM, really.


And so this is why I haven’t posted in so long. I’ve just been trying to GET BY.


So I’ve learned that the GRACE that my LORD gives me each day, that I take so freely, needs to be given just as freely, to the people I love, to the people I meet in stores, and to the people who start blogs and then just don’t keep them up.


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I am a Christian

I AM A CHRISTIAN.



I say this about myself all of the time. I gave my heart to the Lord 9 years ago and enjoy a wonderful relationship with my God. But I was thinking today. . . what does that me to OTHER people?


You see, I live in the Bible Belt. I have never in my entire life met someone who doesn’t know who Jesus Christ IS. So I did a little internet search to see what the WORLD thinks a Christian is. So I went to the worldly leader in information, Wikipedia. I will be honest and tell you this is not my favorite site. But for the purposes of my quest today, I wanted to go there.


A Christian (pronounced /ˈkrɪstʃən/ is a person who adheres to Christianity, an Abrahamic, monotheistic religion based on the life and teachings of Jesus of Nazareth, who they believe is the Messiah (the Christ in Greek-derived terminology) prophesied in the Old Testament/Hebrew Bible, and the son of God.[1][2] Most Christians believe in the doctrine of the Trinity ("tri-unity"), a description of God as Father, as Son, and as Holy Spirit.


Really? An Abrahamic, monotheistic religion? You have GOT to be kidding me!!


So they go on to quote a study conducted by Christianity Today.


• 19 percent of American Christians are described by the researchers as Active Christians. They believe salvation comes through Jesus Christ, attend church regularly, are Bible readers, invest in personal faith development through their church, believe they are obligated to share their faith with others, and accept leadership positions in their church.


• 20 percent are referred to as Professing Christians. They also are committed to "accepting Christ as Savior and Lord" as the key to being a Christian, but focus more on personal relationships with God and Jesus than on church, Bible reading or evangelizing.


• 16 percent fall into a category named Liturgical Christians. They are predominantly Lutheran, Roman Catholic, Episcopalian, or Orthodox. They are regular churchgoers, have a high level of spiritual activity and recognize the authority of the church.


• 24 percent are considered Private Christians. They own a Bible but don't tend to read it. Only about one-third attend church at all. They believe in God and in doing good things, but not necessarily within a church context. This was the largest and youngest segment. Almost none are church leaders.


• 21 percent in the research are called Cultural Christians. These do not view Jesus as essential to salvation. They exhibit little outward religious behavior or attitudes. They favor a universality theology that sees many ways to God. Yet, they clearly consider themselves to be Christians.


So, under these definitions, what am I? I guess I would be called an “Active Christian.” Yeah, that sounds good.


But what does that MEAN? WHO am I? WHAT am I? What is my LIFE like?


Oh, I desperately hope that everyone who knows me KNOWS that I am a Christian. It is such a part of my life; I can’t imagine someone not knowing that about me. But do I need one of those Jesus fish things on my car to let everyone know? Oh, I hope not.


You see, I want people to look at me and just KNOW. I want them to look at how I lead my life and by the things I do and the things I say that I love my Jesus. Yes, they can see me at church every Sunday. Yes, they can see that the pages of my Bible are well used and filled with notes and that my favorite verses are underlined. But can they tell by my HEART that I am a Christian, by how I love others? (John 13:5)


I pray that they do.


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Responsibillery

I have been thinking a lot about responsibility, or, as Miss Mc used to call it, responsibllery.

 WARNING: This is me, getting up on my soapbox!!

Why IS it that people today, of all ages, can’t be responsible?


James 5:12 tells us to let our yes be yes and our no, no. Galatians 6:4-5 says: Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load. Proverbs 19:1 says, “Better to be poor and honest than to be dishonest and a fool.” (I could go on with Scripture references, but rest assured, I won’t!)



So I think we can safely assume that most people understand that we are called to be responsible. So why aren’t people more responsible? I know that a lot of people like to complain that it is our teenagers who are not responsible. And I’ll wholeheartedly agree. But there are many people of other ages who are not either. Our prisons are full of people who aren’t responsible. Our government’s welfare, food stamp, and disability programs are FILLED with people who are not being honest and responsible. What about all the lawsuits out there? Or the bankruptcies? And what about big business? Or CONGRESS? (Again, I’ll not go on and on here.)

So are these people who are NOT responsible genetically predisposed to this? Or is this a learned response? The whole nature vs. nurture thing. Is there anything you can do to CHANGE an irresponsible person?
 Hmmm. . .

I don’t really know the answer to this. And I’m sure we all have our different opinions on it. I’m just wondering. . . .

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Good enough

Today, I went to a “lunch and learn” thing at work on stress.


The speaker is a wonderful man of God (who also happens to be a counselor), and he also is the dad of a special needs child. So I would imagine he knows a LOT about stress!!



The highlights of the talk were that it’s important to find balance in your life, be resilient, and learn how to have hard conversations. I won’t bore you with the details of the program, but there were a couple of things that stood out to me, and so I thought I’d share them.



He had us do an exercise where he gave us a calendar that covered an entire week, from 6 AM to midnight. We were supposed to list all the “roles” we play in life, such as wife, mother, employee, Christian, etc and then fill in the times on the calendar that we DO these things. It is a GREAT tool in forcing you to look at WHERE you spend your time. And we were also supposed to realize “Who takes care of me?” and to make ourSELVES a priority in our own lives.



But when he got to the part about having hard conversations, it REALLY hit home for me. We ALL have to have hard conversations as we go through life, whether it’s a problem client at work, a “moment” with your kids, or a “discussion” with your spouse. We all have them; and some of us have them more often than others!



He talked a lot about our body’s “fight or flight” response. For me, when I start to have one of these hard conversations, my heart rate speeds up, my breathing gets faster, and my face becomes red. These are just biological phenomenas that happen without any thought behind it. BUT what we DO with this response IS our choice. We can “go with it” which causes us to “run” or to “defend” ourselves. But really, when either of these two things happen, our little brains are deprived of oxygen, and we just stop THINKING. So the next time this happens to me, I am going to try to calm myself and take deep, slow breaths. We’ll see how this works.


But then he tells us this: We have “agreement” on about 90% of things with the person we have having this hard conversation with.



Really? I’m ARGUING with this person.

 But then I got to thinking about it. If it’s a client you’re dealing with, chances are you BOTH want the issue to be resolved. If it’s your kids, chances are you BOTH want to get to the bottom of it.



And what about your spouse? Oh, that’s the good one. Chances are you really probably DO have many of the same values and goals for life. Why would you marry someone who DIDN’T share these things with you? (For the sake of this post, I’m not going to address the people who are in marriages they shouldn’t be in.) You probably have children that you BOTH love and want protected. You probably BOTH have the same faith background. You probably BOTH really want your marriage to work. (I could go on and on, but I don’t want to stress you out by making this too long!)



So if we assume that this counselor is right and you really do have agreement on about 90% of things:

ISN’T THAT GOOD ENOUGH TO CONSIDER THIS A POSITVE RELATIONSHIP?

Oh, man.

Don’t you just love conviction?! I just love it when my God takes the time out of His busy day to speak a Word to me. To give me a little knock on the head. To let me know He is listening to me. But maybe, just maybe, I need to look at some things differently.

So WHY do I look at the little 10% of the glass that’s empty, instead of seeing the 90% that is FULL?

Isn’t that good enough?


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Nurse's Day

Happy National Nurse’s Day



There are nearly 3.1 million registered nurses in the United States. And, 2.4 million of them are actively employed. (So. . . I’m thinking that really, nurses really don’t ever get to stop working!!!)


The nation's registered nurse workforce is aging significantly. . . . (Yeah, I’m old. Rub it in.)


Yesterday, I was thinking about the fact that I am a nurse. I have been one of the blessed to know, almost since birth, what I wanted to be in life. When I hear people talk about not knowing what they want to be when they grow up, it seems very strange to me. God just MADE me a nurse. My Mom tells the story of when I was a little girl (around 4 or 5 probably), I had a Mrs. Beasley doll. (Here is a picture for you youngins’!)

(I am sure my daughter will think she is creepy.)

You may not be able to tell, but the body of the doll is made of cloth. The story is that MY doll got a rip in the fabric, somewhere around the chest. My Mom says that I got a giant safety pin and fixed it up and told everyone that she had had open heart surgery and I was her nurse. (How I even KNEW about open heart surgery at this age is a mystery to me.) So when I think back on my life as a nurse, I think that God must have placed this desire in my heart at a very, very early age.

When I was 15, instead of working at the pool or the local restaurant, I worked night shifts as a nurse’s aide, taking vital signs and giving baths. I remember having to talk my parents into letting me work. (Too bad kids today can’t get this concept!) I had graduated from nursing school the first time at age 19, as an LPN. So while my friends my age were still in college, partying and staying out late, I was working. I went back to school 3 years later and became an RN.


Other than the birth of my daughters, I can’t think of ANYTHING I have done in my life that I am more proud of. I can remember when I got off the plane, coming back from Topeka from taking my RN boards, and there was my sweet Momma, holding up at T-shirt that said “RN stands for Real Nice.” I just burst into tears! This was something that I had wanted literally my whole life. And for her to acknowledge me that way was just AMAZING! (And yes, I still have that shirt somewhere!)

I have worked in many different areas of nursing, but I’m most proud of my time as an operating room scrub nurse, a trauma nurse and as a Labor & Delivery nurse. I was actually a very, very good nurse. And this is not bragging on my part. It really isn’t. GOD made me this way. HE gave me the ability to learn and to have compassion for people. HE is the giver of all good things, and I am so thankful that He chose to give this to me.

I think that TRUE nurses are an endangered breed. New nurses seem to be in it for the money. Or they pick nursing because it’s a fairly short degree program. The nurses who really, truly MEAN it when they say they want to be a nurse, the people who really CARE about their patients, are not so common anymore.


I am no longer able to work as a “real” nurse, as I often say. I have a desk job now, and I am only able to talk to people on the phone, teaching them about diabetes or high blood pressure or cholesterol. My health has deteriorated to the point where I can’t work on my feet anymore, a death sentence for a nurse. And I’ve come to realize how much of my IDENTITY and my self-worth are tied up in this. I guess I have just another couple of years in me before they put me out to pasture. (Where DO old nurses go anyway?)


If you have gotten to this point, thanks for listening to the ramblings of an old nurse! I appreciate it! I found a poem that I like and have put it below. I hope that you will take a look around you, as you go through life, and take time to say “thank you” to all the nurses that you come into contact with.

The Proverbs 31 Nurse

By Lois Sigmon Turley, RN

Who can find a good natured Nurse?

For her price is far above silver and gold.

She seeks medicines and skills,

and works willingly with others.

She gives of herself

and considers her own desires last.

A heartwarming smile is hers,

and is made beautiful in her eyes.

She girds herself with honor

and strengthens her ability with patience.

She perceives that her work is good.

Her candle does not go out by night.

She lays her hands upon understanding.

She stretches out her hand to the poor;

yet, she reaches forth hands to the needy.

She is not afraid of sorrow,

for her trust is in God.

Pride and humility are her clothing,

and she shall rejoice in time to come.

She opens her mouth with comfort,

and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

Her associates rise up and call her blessed;

her patients also praise her kindness.

Many daughters have helped others,

but you excel them all.

Favor is deceitful,

and beauty is vain.

But a Nurse that

fears the Lord --

She shall be praised!