Bethany

Happy Birthday, Beloved Child!

I have known you and loved you since the first little pink plus sign. (You know the one. I still keep it in the drawer in my bathroom.) I can still remember that little fluttery feeling I got in my heart, thinking that you were coming. I remember the amazing feeling of you kicking me, sticking your big ole feet into my ribs. I wondered what you would look like, what kind of personality you would have, and I longed to hold you. Then it happened, in the early morning hours of April 9th, 1993 ~ my water broke! Back to that fluttery feeling in my heart, wondering what it would be like to be in labor and to bring you out into this world. It went by so quickly. Yes, I remember some pain, but there was just this current of excitement. And then you were there! You had these scrawny, long legs and big feet! And the most incredible blue eyes! And you LOOKED at me, and you KNEW me. There was this CONNECTION there. It is hard to explain. OK. Really, I cannot explain it. I don’t really think anyone can. It is just a GIFT from the LORD.

I can remember one night when it was late, and I was tired, and I had just fed you, and I was looking at your fingernails. And I remember so clearly crying, thinking of how PERFECT you were and how GOD had taken the time out of all the problems in the universe to make sure that my baby had perfect fingernails. Every little thing about you was perfect. And it still is.


And then things seemed to go so quickly from there. You sat up, you walked, and man of man, you TALKED!! There really isn’t a word in our pitiful language that explains what you were/are to me. Joy is just not enough. I can remember looking at your gorgeous blue eyes, so filled with wonder and curiosity. I remember your hair was so blonde it was almost white.

And smart! Oh, my gosh you astounded me! I couldn’t believe the things that you learned and how early you did things. If I had a dollar for every book I read you, I could retire a rich woman! And because you were so smart, you weren’t content for me to just READ the words, I had to talk ABOUT the book, making it new every time. I would kind of paraphrase each page and make it different and exciting.

By the time you were 3 or 4, I could tell that you weren’t just smart, you were GIFTED. And as you grew up, our bond just got stronger and stronger. For so many years of your life, it was just the two of us, and we developed something that went a little deeper than what most moms and daughters get. Maybe since it was just us, we learned to lean on each other and we LEARNED each other so well.

There are so many things that stand out in your elementary school years that I was so proud of. I loved to watch you play soccer and then volleyball and to watch you breeze through school like it was nothing. Friendships came so easily to you and everyone loved you, especially your teachers.



When you hit that awkward, preteen, middle school time, I remember feeling so confused. WHERE was my girl? Others would tell me that this was just part of life, that all girls went through this, and to be patient ~ you would return. But it was such a hard time for me.



And little by little, things started to change. I would see little glimpses of my sweet girl. I could see the love you had for your baby sister. I would see you include her when your friends were over. I would see you laughing with friends at church. And then you just seemed to grow up. I don’t know WHEN it happened, but it just seemed to be DONE.



And what you turned out to be is this wonderful, sweet, kind-hearted young woman! Once again, our pitiful language fails, and PROUD just isn’t enough. LOVE just isn’t enough. When I see you volunteering with church, when I see you helping the homeless, when I see your heart soften when you look at a little old lady, when I see how you treat handicapped people, and when I see the tears glisten in your eyes and your heart overflow with love when someone you love is hurting ~ ~ I know that my job is done. With the help of the Good Lord, you have become a caring, feeling, empathetic, loving young woman, and there is no greater accomplishment than that.



By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." A new command I give you: Love one another. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

I know that life is difficult, and there will be many times when you are faced with challenges and struggles and pain. It will not be an easy road. But it is my solemn promise to you to always walk it with you, loving you, supporting you, and praying for you.



And when I think of who you are and who you have become, I think “well done.” And I get that little fluttery feeling in my heart.